'Dad


(Adult Theme)

Bagdad/June, 2004

12 Lines

My buddy drops one then another into his mouth,

eyes twinkling like a dopehead Santa

on a sultry winter's night.

America's military-industrial complex

had sent us prospecting for death

in a distant and dangerous sandbox,

fighting for another people's deliverance,

embracing the suck,

popping, dropping, smoking

till we got high enough to be

at peace with war,

speeding under midnight stars

of Mohammed's middle-eastern sky


by L. E. Bryan




 

 

 

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Persephone V
I initially missed this Romulo - apologies for my late comment. This piece is undoubtedly stirring, frightening, also intriguing. Can we ever really get high enough to be at peace with war - poignant message, brings it home - image of speeding under midnight stars makes me think of someone sitting on top of a tank as it rolls across the desert at night.
Persephone Vandegrift , February 28, 2010
Dad?
ShannonM
After reading the wartime poem I found myself asking why it is called "Dad". I stumbled over the beginning of the poem, but that could have been due to your word choices... not that the words were wrong... I am pretty sure it was because I read the title first and was expecting something totally different. I kept reading it and found myself understanding the terror that is conveyed during wartime.
Kathleen Livingston , February 28, 2010
Breaks
SMG Editor
Great piece, great setting and tone.

Might break that first line after "one" to ease up the cadence at the beginning.
Steven M. Grant , February 28, 2010
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Harmoni, HeadHoncho
Awesome. Absolutely love the imagery here, love the "dopehead santa", and found that the entire piece moved beautifully toward a stark ending. A VERY potent 12 lines.

But I was also curious about that title!smilies/kiss.gif
Harmoni McGlothlin , April 01, 2010

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